


My Everything

by GothicPrincessWitch



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Feels, M/M, Mutual Pining, breakup angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 16:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13930476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicPrincessWitch/pseuds/GothicPrincessWitch
Summary: Fenris’s happiness means everything to Hawke, even after they break up.





	My Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Today has sucked, so have some angst. I live for moments like these. Enjoy!

_“Why do you love me?”_

These words cause Garrett Hawke to freeze.

Up until this moment, the night had been going very well. Their group of friends had gathered at the Hanged Man to celebrate Varric’s newest book, and with the drinks on Varric’s tab, everyone was celebrating quite a lot.

Throughout the whole evening, Fenris and Hawke somehow kept finding ways — or rather, excuses — to be near each other. They’d sat beside each other, moving closer and closer together after every drink. Fenris’s hand came to rest on Hawke’s thigh, leading to Hawke’s arm sliding around Fenris’s waist, and then Fenris was practically spilling onto Hawke’s lap.

Even on their walk back to Hightown, somehow their arms had found a way around each other, and through it all Hawke hadn’t minded one bit, every touch sending a thrill through him, making him dizzier than the Hanged Man’s poor excuse for whiskey. Hawke would have gladly kept holding Fenris in his arms forever.

Until now, when Fenris breaks away, one hand on the door of his mansion, and his words are like a sobering splash of ice water to Hawke’s face.

_“Why do you love me?”_

It’s been two years since they made love to each other, and there is no other way to describe it in Hawke’s mind than making love. But it was too much, too fast, too soon for Fenris, so Hawke had gracefully backed down and given Fenris the space he needed. Yet despite no longer being together, Hawke’s love for Fenris has not diminished. If anything, he loves Fenris infinitely more now.

“Why do you love me?” Fenris asks, his lovely green eyes filled with fathomless yearning which matches the longing in his voice.

“Fenris...” Hawke has been too careless, too forward, and what if he says the wrong thing and ruins everything between them?

“You do love me, don’t you?” says Fenris, but it’s not really a question. He might as well ask if there’s a moon in the sky, bathing them in it’s silver glow, for all the obviousness of this answer.

“Yes. I love you more than anything.” Because there’s no other answer Hawke can give.

“Then why?” asks Fenris, his voice laced with guilt. “I left you. I broke your heart, and then I keep doing things like this, giving you false hope. I see the look in your eyes, your smile, whenever I touch you, and I can’t... I can’t be what you want. I’m sorry.”

Hawke wants to move forward and take Fenris in his arms. He wants to kiss every bit of pain Fenris feels. But he knows better, so he forces himself to stay still.

“What I want from you, Fenris, is for you to be happy,” he says, firmly, seriously, baring his soul. “That’s all. I want you to be happy with me in whatever way you can, even if that’s not together. You mean more to me than I could ever say. You make me happy. You make my life worth living. You’re my everything, and I just want to be here, near you, doing whatever I can to make you happy as well.”

That’s the most heartfelt speech Hawke can manage while this drunk, and as soon as he finishes, he worries that he’s said too much.

Fenris closes the distance between them and then the distance between their mouths, kissing Hawke with a brush of his full lips as light as the moonbeams shining down upon them.

“You mean everything to me, Garrett,” Fenris whispers against his mouth. “I’m sorry to make you wait.”

“It’s alright. You’re worth waiting for.”

Fenris gives him a small, unconvinced smile before bidding him good night.


End file.
